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About Literature / Hobbyist MegzFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Koko by mariethehedgecat Koko :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0 Why...? by mariethehedgecat Why...? :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0
Literature
Insecurity and Mental Exposition
Malakai felt himself nodding off for the dozenth time, sleepily attempting to perk up when he realized another blink had remained as closed eyes. He wasn't sure why he was so tired; hanging out with his friend watching a scary movie should've been enough to keep him awake for hours and hours. Of course, it was a movie he had seen before, so maybe that was part of it. He could recite every line if he chose to be annoying enough to do so, could still mentally see every attempt at a plot twist and the sequel bait ending. So it was difficult to stay engaged.
Some part of his mind had to think this was the kind of movie Emilio would probably like, with all the exaggerated gore and hilariously over-the-top violence. Or maybe he'd find it boring due to the unrealistic nature? Would he nitpick? It was always pretty hard to gauge just what was going on in that crazy bastard's head most of the time.
Another blink that resulted in eyes remaining closed much longer than expected. Shit. There were
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:iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 1 0
Headache by mariethehedgecat Headache :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 4 3 Lovey Squigglies by mariethehedgecat Lovey Squigglies :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0 Perfectly Sweet And Not Crazy At All by mariethehedgecat Perfectly Sweet And Not Crazy At All :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 1 0 MegaHoratio by mariethehedgecat MegaHoratio :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 1 0 (Esplouge) Blast From The Past by mariethehedgecat (Esplouge) Blast From The Past :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0 Confused Little Squiggly Girl by mariethehedgecat Confused Little Squiggly Girl :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0 Sociable Ginseng by mariethehedgecat Sociable Ginseng :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0 StressStressStress by mariethehedgecat StressStressStress :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 2 5 Pretty In Pink by mariethehedgecat Pretty In Pink :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 2 0 Horatio the Banette by mariethehedgecat Horatio the Banette :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 1 0 Why Hello There by mariethehedgecat Why Hello There :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 2 4 Merry Christmas! by mariethehedgecat Merry Christmas! :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 0 0 Ofie Doodle by mariethehedgecat Ofie Doodle :iconmariethehedgecat:mariethehedgecat 1 0
Someday I'll post actual writing again, I swear. ^^;

Favourites

(NITW) Bea: Sleepless Nights by b1uewhirlwind (NITW) Bea: Sleepless Nights :iconb1uewhirlwind:b1uewhirlwind 45 1 Night in the Woods fanart by Affanita Night in the Woods fanart :iconaffanita:Affanita 1,402 34 NITW Germ by Devilinchan94 NITW Germ :icondevilinchan94:Devilinchan94 131 2 animal impulses by GhostBunny-X animal impulses :iconghostbunny-x:GhostBunny-X 93 4 'NITW' Mae by GhostBunny-X 'NITW' Mae :iconghostbunny-x:GhostBunny-X 169 3 Nightmares | NitW Fan Art by RadooshArts Nightmares | NitW Fan Art :iconradoosharts:RadooshArts 6 2 KnT - 132 by Z-T00N KnT - 132 :iconz-t00n:Z-T00N 6,532 0 Oh Boy by Z-T00N Oh Boy :iconz-t00n:Z-T00N 5,734 0 KnT Art Dump 4 by Z-T00N KnT Art Dump 4 :iconz-t00n:Z-T00N 3,836 0 KnT - 131 by Z-T00N KnT - 131 :iconz-t00n:Z-T00N 4,884 458 Sort of a smooooch by zarla Sort of a smooooch :iconzarla:zarla 4,590 342 Fakemon: Ragabond and Raibbon by Jazzy-Spazzy Fakemon: Ragabond and Raibbon :iconjazzy-spazzy:Jazzy-Spazzy 6 4 Hot New Digs by Jazzy-Spazzy Hot New Digs :iconjazzy-spazzy:Jazzy-Spazzy 4 6 VirtuaVerse - Pillstreet by Valenberg VirtuaVerse - Pillstreet :iconvalenberg:Valenberg 1,432 112 KnT - 129 by Z-T00N KnT - 129 :iconz-t00n:Z-T00N 5,633 357 Don't trust that smile by zillabean Don't trust that smile :iconzillabean:zillabean 257 45
Three guesses as to which game I've recently become obsessed with. XD
  • Watching: Cartoons
  • Playing: Night In The Woods
  • Drinking: Water
One can only experience so many absolute failures at keeping friends before coming to accept that the common denominator in the seemingly perpetual loneliness, is themselves.

I feel like I can't keep anyone. Not unless I keep my distance emotionally, but then people will think I'm taking them for granted and will eventually leave anyway.
If I let myself get too close, I wind up hurt. I do or say or just am something wrong, and at some point, people realize whatever it is that's wrong with me and leave.

Hell, I didn't even get a clear reason this time.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Am I too boring? Quiet? Emotional? Childish? Needy? People rarely see their own flaws; why can't people just tell me what to work on so I know what to fix? It'd be a hell of a lot nicer than just leaving me and not telling me why. Dooming me to unknowingly making the same mistakes over and over. Dooming me to perpetual loneliness.
Do I just not deserve to be happy?
I don't know. I know I've still got some flaws that I need to work on fixing, but I thought I was finally starting to do better. I thought I was finally starting to be a better person. Apparently I was wrong.

It's so frustrating. The thing I want the most is a real friendship. I'm stupidly loyal, hell I've been loyal to my own detriment in the past. I thought at least the undying loyalty thing would eventually get me somewhere. But there's apparently something so horrifically wrong with me, that even that isn't enough.



No wonder so many of my characters have issues with depression and/or unhealthy relationships. That's basically my entire life.

deviantID

mariethehedgecat
Megz
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Gif 12 by SkySki25 Makes random Pokemon gijinkas when bored

Is frequently confused

(Super adorable babies made by :iconskyski25: )
Interests

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:iconbyzho:
byzho Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Professional Artist
Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too
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:iconmariethehedgecat:
mariethehedgecat Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
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:iconbear48:
bear48 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2015  Professional
Llama jump by Droneguard :llama: :headbang: :squee: :headbang: :llama: Llama jump by Droneguard

Thank you for the Llama :llama:  www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRozKf…

Llama jump by Droneguard :squee:  :squee:  Llama jump by Droneguard  :squee:  :squee:  Llama jump by Droneguard
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:iconthe-cute-storm:
The-Cute-Storm Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2015
  

Thanks for the llama! 

Llama Thanks You in Watercolor by The-Cute-Storm  

Stop by my gallery, and join our Facebook Fan Page for more frequent updates and please do check out our online store as well! www.CuteStorm.com


~Miss D

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:iconjazzy-spazzy:
Jazzy-Spazzy Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Schizophrenia Simulated: youtu.be/KYHVbLLO2bU

The DA app doesn't have notes, so I'll just leave this here for now. I've been going through these simulators all day but I feel like this one is truly the closest to what Mikhail experiences with his schizophrenia. It's very interesting and sad because the paranoia makes simple things hard to do.
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